


answer

by krystine



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Long-Distance Friendship, M/M, Moving Out, Mutual Pining, One-Sided Relationship, Soft towards the end, Underage Drinking, or more like friends to strangers to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:33:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28874634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krystine/pseuds/krystine
Summary: Fives times Felix doesn't get an answer when he calls Jisung and one time he does.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix
Comments: 11
Kudos: 30





	answer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aishiterumo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishiterumo/gifts).



> this was supposed to be a christmas gift for @softflowermin and guesss whaaaat i'm pretty late hehe (i'm deeply sorry). merry christmas and happy new year bub i hope you'll like it. i'm sorry if this fic is written with broken english, it's been months i didn't write sth in english.. but i still wanted to write sth in english for ash. also, i hope anyone reading those lines rn is feeling good and if not, i hope i can make you escape reality for a few minutes. i'll stop talking sm, have a good read!

> **Ⅰ.**

The first time Felix called Jisung was when he arrived in Australia. After moving back to his native country, the boy should’ve felt happy to be back home. He remembered, remembered very well how sad he felt when his parents told him at age 7 that they had to move to South Korea. Because of work, apparently. But Felix didn’t know what that meant and only cried all day at the thought of leaving his friends.

Five years later, Felix still wanted to cry when his parents told him they had to move back to Australia. Because of work, again. And even if Felix didn’t want that, he knew he didn’t have a choice. Being a minor, he had no other choice than to follow his parents wherever they went. That implied leaving what felt his new home without having much time to prepare.

So he told his friends. He told them he had to leave for Australia. Everyone felt sad. He remembered the sad look on Hyunjin and Seungmin’s faces, his dearest friends. He grew up with them, spent his five years in Korea with them. They would feel empty, now that their group of four would be missing a member.

Yeah, _four_. Because Jisung didn’t immediately show how sad he was when he heard the news. He went along with his usual jokester self, told a joke that Felix didn’t remember anymore. But he remembered the sudden tension that grew in the air, Jisung’s laugh that slowly died down. Then, his smile faltered and he huffed. “Yeah, you’ll be gone, huh. For good.” At these words, Felix cried.

When they shared their last ride home in the bus, it was silent. Hyunjin and Seungmin rode bikes to go to school, so they gave a warm hug to Felix before parting ways. Made a promise with Felix that they’ll call at least once a week. Felix’s heart had been light at that moment but his current self would laugh at it, now that he knew that his friends were liars.

But the young Felix didn’t know, clung onto those words, clung onto Jisung. He didn’t want to let him go, he didn’t want to go, to leave. Still, Jisung offered him a broken smile, patted his hair. “It’s not like we’ll never see each other anymore. Just buy a plane ticket to Korea and I’ll be at the airport waiting for you!” Felix laughed and thanked Jisung. He sincerely believed in these words and made a promise to himself: when he’ll turn eighteen, he’ll come back to Korea. And Jisung will welcome him with open arms, laugh with him as they’ll make up for lost time together.

Felix was so sure of that but when he didn’t hear any answer from his call to Jisung, he felt uneasy. Still, he shrugged it off. Jisung was just being busy. Probably. So he left a voicemail, after trying to reach him five times already.

“Hey Jisung! I’ve arrived in my hometown. To be honest, it feels weird coming back to my old town and recognizing everything around me, like nothing has changed in five years… It should’ve been reassuring but I don’t know, I don’t feel happy. I feel so empty. Maybe it’s because you guys aren’t around. I tried to call Seungmin and Hyunjin already but they didn’t answer, so I tried with you but I guess y’all are just too busy. Maybe because of the mid-term exams? Good luck with that, I’m praying for your good grades. I’m guessing Hyunjin and Seungmin will ace the exam, as usual? What about you though Jisung? I thought you would be too lazy to actually study so that’s why I kinda expected you to answer… But nevermind then. I’m glad you’ve finally decided to get to work.

“Call me when you’re free, alright? I already miss you guys so much. Have a good evening or whatever, don’t push yourself too far.”

Like this, Felix ended his voicemail. Then, he dropped his phone on his empty bed and lied on it, exhaling a deep breath. Well, he had tons of boxes to take care of and they weren’t going to unpack by themselves, were they? In this thought, Felix got up and started to organize his stuff.

> **Ⅱ.**

The second time Felix called Jisung was one week later. The boy found it weird that his friend still didn’t answer him even one week later but maybe he was really that busy. In this case, Felix thought it’d be better if he was the one to call again. Perhaps Jisung just forgot to call him back. With how forgetful he was, Felix wouldn’t find it very surprising from him. He giggled at the thought as he put his phone close to his ear, waiting for an answer.

But no one answered. It was Jisung’s voicemail which answered him, telling him that he wasn’t near his phone. Weird. Why wouldn’t Jisung answer? Maybe he was too busy playing games? Felix felt a weird feeling in his stomach but decided to ignore it, leaving a second voicemail.

“Hey Jisung? It’s been a week since I’ve moved back here. My classmates are nice, I even met my old friends again and we reconnected! It felt really good. But yeah, I still feel empty each time I think of you guys… Are you three still busy with work? None of you are like, answering me. Are y’all playing a prank one me or what? If it’s one, it’s not really funny… But I guess I’ll just let it slide, because I love you guys so much.”

Felix laughed. Well, he _tried_ to laugh. He did his best to make his laughter sound natural. He didn’t want Jisung to hear that he was actually hurt that no one bothered to answer his texts or calls, especially Jisung. Even if it wasn’t really clear between them, Felix considered Jisung as his best friend. They clicked so quickly when they met, with Jisung as his seatmate who told him with sparkling eyes that his freckles were so pretty.

Since then, the two were inseparable. It was Jisung who told Felix all the little tricks to cheat on exams without getting caught, the secret cool spots at school that Jisung kept to himself until Felix came in his life, the perfect places to have fun when school was over… Jisung basically introduced him to everything, including his own close friends who were Hyunjin and Seungmin. He also was the one who helped Felix a lot with his Korean, kept practicing with him and never mocking him for his Australian accent. One day, Seungmin even made the observation that when Jisung was speaking in English he had an Australian accent and that made their whole group of friends burst into laughter.

These were the little things, little things that kept Felix happy and deeply attached to Jisung. He loved Jisung so much he knew he would feel empty without him but as long as they didn’t lose contact, he’d be fine, right?

“I hope to hear from you soon, Jisung. Bye, take care!”

And he didn’t mean it, but his distress was audible in his voice.

> **Ⅲ.**

The third time Felix called Jisung was one month after. At this point, Felix knew it: he had been ghosted. None of his friends answered him. He even checked their social media and noticed that they all removed him from their friend lists. Why? Did Felix do something wrong? Had he been too naive, thinking that going back to his hometown wouldn’t change a thing in their relationship? Really, what went wrong? If Felix knew what he did wrong he could try to fix it, to apologize, but the problem was that he didn’t even know what was wrong.

So he sent a third voicemail.

“Jisung, I hope that whatever thing I did, you can forgive me. I don’t, I really don’t know what I did wrong and I beg you to tell me what’s wrong. I thought everything was fine? We even hugged before I had to take the plane, you told me to take care, be safe… I mean I really don’t see the problem and you might feel angry hearing those words but I’m so sorry Jisung, I don’t know what’s wrong. Please tell me what’s wrong so that I can fix it, whatever it is. Please.”

Felix let out a heavy breath, trying to keep calm, to prevent his tears from rolling down his cheeks.

“I swear Jisung, I’ll do everything that’s in my power to fix it. Fix myself, fix us. Fix our relationship. So please tell me what’s wrong. I’ll be waiting for your answer. Just please don’t leave without an answer, please.”

With that, he really hoped Jisung would answer him. After all, that really was unlike him, not even leaving him a text. Jisung was really active on social media, he’d post dumb stuff and since he was a popular kid, he’d get a lot of reactions. Seungmin would always nag Jisung with that, calling him the prince of their school. Still, even if Jisung was loved by many people, he stuck around Hyunjin, Seungmin and Felix. He made it pretty clear that despite liking everyone, he liked his close friends better. So it made no sense that he wasn’t replying. If he wasn’t replying, it just meant that he was ghosting him.

And it was true, because when Felix sent him another text the next day, he saw it.

**“Read at 9:18PM.”**

Jisung was ghosting him.

> **Ⅳ.**

The fourth time Felix called was several months later. At this point, Felix figured out, it was useless to try to reach out. He wouldn’t gain anything from it, he just had to let go even if it was hard. And Felix wasn’t good at letting go, especially people he dearly loved.

Yeah because distance made him realize that he wasn’t just considering Jisung as his friend. More like his crush, the one he really liked. And it was being away from him that made him understand that Jisung held a special place in his heart. Ironically, he realized that when he was miles away from Jisung and couldn’t reach him anymore. Jisung disappeared and took his heart with him, leaving him all alone. Felix didn’t know what to do. Of course he had to let go, he talked to his current friends about it and they all told him that, told him that his previous friends were stupid and weren’t worth his attention.

However Felix found it really weird. How could five years of friendship just disappear like that? It didn’t make sense. There had to be a good reason behind their sudden ghosting and Felix wanted to know what. He knew he couldn’t let go if he didn’t get an answer.

Therefore, as he told himself that this would be the last time he’d try to call Jisung, he did.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

No answer, as usual.

Felix sighed. Waited for his turn to speak. And did.

“It’s been a while, huh? I wonder what you’re up to. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t even call right? I know you ghosted me. I don’t know why. Please tell me what’s wrong. I really want to know why. I can’t let go if I don’t know, Jisung… It’s just too hard to remember about our fun times together and knowing that it’s over without a proper reason. I need to know why to let you go. I swear it’s the last time I’m trying to call you. I won’t bother you now. But it doesn’t mean that I’m not thinking about you. Thinking what went wrong with me… with us.

“Take care, Jisung. Be happy.”

> **Ⅴ.**

The fifth time Felix tried to call Jisung was years later. High school went with parties and alcohol and obviously Felix joined them, tasted his first beer, took his first shots. Nothing too unusual, friends and classmates dancing to the sound of music, having fun together, kissing with alcohol in their mouths, not worrying about their hangover tomorrow. Like this, Felix got to know rather quickly that he wasn’t a good drinker and got drunk easily, too easily.

That was why he was sitting down on a couch, alone, with an empty can of beer in his hand and his phone in the other. People were all smiling, talking, laughing but here he was, feeling sad. Way too sad. Apparently, his friends said that he was a sad drunk. Whatever. Felix didn’t care about that.

The only thing he cared about was Jisung.

Jisung who, even years later, still didn’t give him an answer.

And even if Felix knew that he was an idiot to cling on this relationship, he was still unable to let Jisung go. Yeah, it did hurt less than years before, when he wanted to cry every night because he didn’t know what he did wrong for things to turn out like this. But it still hurt.

It still hurt when Felix remembered Jisung’s smile, Jisung’s laugh, Jisung’s antics, Jisung’s jokes, Jisung’s bad grades, Jisung’s skills on games, Jisung’s way to walk, Jisung’s loud voice… Five years couldn’t vanish like that and Felix truly believed that they just misunderstood each other. Perhaps there was something that Felix should’ve caught on but didn’t.

But it was too late, now.

Ring. Ring.

He let his phone ring in his ear as he held it close, watched with an empty heart people in front of him get wasted.

Ring. Ring.

No answer.

Of course there would be no answer.

What was he expecting ?

He laughed as it was his turn to leave him a voicemail. He laughed soulessly, alone on this couch, empty can in his hand.

“I can’t forget you, Jisung. I can’t.”

He continued to laugh alone as if he was crazy but no one paid attention to him. A sad drunk, him? Yeah, sure. More like a happy drunk. Sappy drunk? His laughter doubled at this thought.

And then, finally, his laugh died down in his throat as he lied down, let go of his beer can like he should’ve let go of Jisung. But he couldn’t.

“I love you.”

He ended the voicemail like that, phone resting in his hand and eyes closing, mind going away in another world.

> **Ⅵ.**

The sixth time Felix called Jisung was at eighteen.

Six years before, twelve years old Felix promised himself to go back to South Korea when he’d be eighteen. And contrary to his friends, Felix was a man of his words so he did really come back. Not to see them but to see his old country. See the country where he spent five years having fun times with his friends. Well, now everything was over but Felix still missed this country.

Still missed Jisung. Yes, it was stupid of him to still think about him but it was the truth. He had lingering feelings for his former best friend, which felt more nostalgic than anything. Felix was only reminiscing of their relationship, he guessed. There was nothing left in his heart anymore, despite sorrow and sadness.

But then, something sparkled when he recognized _him_ , standing here, at the airport.

He grew up. He changed.

Jisung definitely wasn’t the twelve year old Felix knew anymore.

He matured, became a young man.

Felix was at loss for words, could only stare in shock as he came closer to his figure.

It was at this moment that Jisung locked eyes with him.

Suddenly, it felt like time stopped. Nothing was moving around them but themselves. Felix couldn’t even feel himself breathing, he could only hear his own heart beating fast, so fast.

What was he doing here?

A soft smile spreaded over Jisung’s face as his eyes twinkled with the same stars as when they were seven, when Jisung told Felix he had beautiful freckles.

Well, Felix would love to tell Jisung that he had beautiful eyes, now.

“Hi, Felix.”

His voice changed. Of course it had changed but the way Felix could still hear his previous voice ringing in his current voice made his heart beat faster. Like old memories were reliving, like old feelings were lit up anew. Like six years of absence made this moment worth it.

“Sorry I’m showing up unannounced. Actually, I saw on your social media that you were flying back to Korea so… I just made a really, really impulsive decision but I’m here now. Maybe you don’t have time for me or maybe you don’t want to talk to me. It’s fine. I just thought I might as well try to explain some things to you but if you don’t want to, it’s fine.”

“No.” Felix stared at Jisung, hand squeezing his luggage. “Please tell me.”

Actually, he couldn’t believe that Jisung was in front of him, ready to tell him all the things he’d been dying to know since he left South Korea. This situation didn’t make sense but the way he had been ghosted didn’t either, so Felix just went along with it. Even if it was six years later, he still needed to know what happened.

Jisung sighed, biting his lips like he was searching for the right words to say. Felix could only stand there, waiting for an answer. That was what he had been doing for six years, after all. Waiting for an answer.

“First of all, you can punch me or call me names. It’s all I deserve. At twelve, I was really dumb, so dumb. Seungmin and Hyunjin told me to break off all ties with you. Because… Well… They thought it’d make my feelings for you go away.”

What?

Felix blinked but didn’t have the time to react at all.

“You probably feel disgusted, I’m sorry… But yeah, that’s how things were. I was in love with you and my heart just broke when I learned you were going back to Australia. And I really wanted to call you back, stuff like that, but Hyunjin and Seungmin told me not to. They said I would just be hurting myself. It was better to sever ties with you like that. So it’d be less painful for both me and you.

“Guess what? Didn’t work at all. I got you out of my life but I felt so sad, I always cried myself to sleep. But I couldn’t call you back because if I did, I had to explain why I didn’t answer at all and I would have to tell you everything, including my feelings. And I didn’t want to confess to you because I was sure you didn’t like me back and I’d only make things awkward. I thought it’d be better if you hate me for ghosting you than for pitying me because you can’t like me back.

“So yeah, that’s how things were. My heart always broke when I heard your voice in your voicemails or saw your texts but I couldn’t do anything, I already did something so wrong I couldn’t turn back time. I was so angry at the situation that I snapped at Hyunjin and Seungmin, blaming them for the whole thing. We got into a fight and since then we didn’t talk to each other. I still feel guilty for that but it was a hard period for me, I felt so alone and hated myself for everything that happened...

“Then your last call came. When you were drunk. You told me you liked me. I thought I was dreaming, really. But well… It was what, five years after I started to ghost you? It wouldn’t be fair to answer you at that moment because you said you loved me, plus I was convinced you said it because you missed me, not because of romantic feelings. It really didn’t help me get over you but I eventually did…

“So, be reassured! I don’t like you anymore. I’m just uh, now, trying to make you feel better about the whole situation. It’s not you who’s at fault, you never were… It was just me being afraid. And now I hope you do feel better. See, I might have broken many promises but in a way, I didn’t break the one where I told you I’d be waiting for you at the airport when you’d fly back to Korea, right?”

Jisung was still joking around even in this situation. Felix found it incredibly exasperating but also endearing. It was what made Felix fall in love with Jisung, after all.

“You're an idiot,” Felix muttered.

Jisung smiled in a bittersweet way. “Yeah, I am.”

“What would you do if I told you that I was in love with you, too?”

Jisung blinked. “What?”

Felix laughed, laughed because they were two idiots, two stupid idiots. “I loved you too, Jisung. But I realized too late, I realized when we were already apart from each other. I really liked you. That’s what made you hard to forget.”

“Oh.”

Jisung’s cheeks started to blush and Felix found it cute.

“You’re cute.”

He said it.

Jisung’s blush got even harder.

“Oh… You think so?”

“Yeah,” Felix affirmed in an amused tone. “You’re cute. And the way your eyes sparkle too, that’s cute. Everything’s cute, about you. I’m happy to see that your way of speaking didn’t change either. It was cute and it’s still cute.”

“You remember everything…” Jisung half-whispered.

“Of course I do. Do I need to tell you again that I was in love with you?”

“Would you fall for me once again?”

Jisung’s blush didn’t go away but he was trying his best at ignoring it, looking serious and all, like his hands weren’t fidgeting with his clothes and his lips weren’t forming a thin line. Felix laughed again.

“I would. Maybe I already fell, actually.”

“Huh?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Jisung blinked again. Felix laughed again.

“You’re so cute.”

“Oh my god stop, it’s so embarrassing… As a punishment I won’t allow you to kiss me.”

“What-”

Jisung leaned forward to press his lips on Felix’s. The contact was soft, making butterflies explode in his stomach but not for too long, Jisung’s lips already parting away from his. His cheeks were still red but this time, he was smiling, offering a shy smile.

Oh god, he was so cute.

“I’m the only one allowed to kiss you.”

“You got pretty daring with time, huh?” Felix said, eyes glistening with interest.

“Mh, that’s something you’ll discover if you accept to go out with me. So, Felix, would you like me to be your boyfriend?”

Felix giggled. “Sure, you idiot.”

“Idiot? What? Why are you calling me an idiot-”

“My idiot.”

Felix smiled again as he saw Jisung flush.

“Jisung?” 

_Felix called._

“Yeah?”

_Jisung answered._

Felix smiled.

“I love you.”

Jisung smiled back.

“I love you too.”

And they kissed again, making up for lost time, making up for being two idiots in love.

**Author's Note:**

> welp that's it! it's a bit cliché but oh well, i had pleasure writing it. what do you think about it? leave kudos and a comment if you appreciated hehe. hope to see you around, be safe ♥


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